PHOTO BACKGROUND:
This is a portrait of Mapathe. An acquaintance of mine. He is a Senegalese muslim. During my session with him I found a certain beauty in his hand and prayer beads. This photo was taken in the summer of 2004.
COMMENTARY:
I’m trying to make sure I keep up with this blogging thing in the midst of everything else I am doing. I’ve selected a random image today and I’ll share the first thoughts that it triggers in me.
I’ve walked this earth without religion for nearly my entire life. You frequently hear people who don’t profess a particular religion say that they are ’spiritual’. I have been known to say this myself, though I must admit I cringe a little bit every time I’ve said it. It is such a nebulous statement. I am always left with more questions when someone says ‘I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual’ to me. I can only imagine what runs through people’s heads when I utter those words. None the less, barring a fairly long and intimate conversation, there is no way of accurately expressing the nature of my spiritual life.
Maybe this punctuates the dominance of organized religions in our culture. They take up so much of our conceptual space when it comes to spirituality that we have not developed the language to articulate other modes of practice and being. Maybe it says something about my own personal brand of spirituality. Perhaps there is some inherent truth embedded in the overwhelming presence of religious institutions. Perhaps their presence speaks to a fundamental need for structure when it comes to human spirituality. Maybe there is a bit of validity in both. I tend to lean toward the former since, despite the deficits of language, I am very clear about the nature of my spirituality. My spiritual center is as much about inquiry, experience and discovery as it is about belief, practice and surrender. In the end it is a very individual thing that may not be translatable to anyone else. I don’t know.
When I look at this photo I am in awe of those who have a devout faith in a prescribed religion and have found a way to make it a truly transcendent experience. Perhaps it is my general disdain for prescription and convention when it comes to spiritual matters. I have had such rich, lucid and instructive experiences from such an early age that I somtimes think that it is difficult for me to understand how large institutions can truly respond and be accountable to their dynamic nature.
I am not a cynic. Well, to be honest, I should probably say that I am not a complete cynic. I would be lying if I did not admit to just a little bit of cynicism about organized religion. Nevertheless I find awe inspiring beauty in all religions and spiritual traditions not so much for the doctrine, but for the human element. The striving, the pursuit of something greater, the willingness to reshape oneself according to ideals that are greater than the calling of daily life and survival is, to me, a supremely beautiful thing.
I have been on this path as well, albeit without the aid of a specific doctrine. I freely pull from principles embedded in various religions without reservation. Not in an airy, purely self-affirming way either, I hope. I frequently wrestle with ideas that are uncomfortable for me but seem necessary when I feel that I need guidance in order to avoid the pitfalls of self-congratulation or moral expediency. I can do this because from an ‘outsider’s’ point of view all system are speaking to the same essential truth.
I have found way to be shaped by my internal and existential experiences. It is a very visceral and immediate spirituality the sees each and every moment in life as a learning opportunity; a chance to reflect on my essential nature and grow. I rely equally on the rigors and fruits of science and the transcendence of my own subjective experiences. I am intrigued by all of the popular ideas about the nature of consciousness of born out of recent studies in quantum physics, but I draw no premature conclusions from them. For me they present as many new questions as they might purport to answer. I find the possibility of new avenues of inquiry thrilling.
Somewhere in the mix of what is certain and what is subjective, between discipline doctrinal adherence and the liberating nature spontaneous spiritual experiences, between the proscribed and the explorative I find a beautiful solace in the fundamental human desire to reach for the transcendent.
It is in this desire that I find a reflection of me.
